Category Archives: The Office



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The Office 609: “Double Date” Pam vs. Michael in the parking lot!


58, you say?

Another solid episode of The Office. Lots of good things happening here, with some terrific lines.

Functionally, it got rid of Pam’s mom as Michael’s girlfriend (good thing), it maintained Pam’s crazy spats and Jim’s fear of said crazy spats (good thing, although I hope the spats don’t disappear once she delivers the baby), and it featured another of Dwight’s schemes to dethrone Jim (always a good thing).


"You owe me one."

And the episode had a schoolyard fight.  Well, it didn’t quite deliver on the fight, although the writers wisely knew that if there’s a fist on the mantle in act one it’s gotta punch in act three, but it had all the requisite drama with an amusing buildup in which the office mates were forced to choose sides and pretty much everyone rooted for Pam to knock out Michael. Toby even went so far as to teach Pam how to throw a punch.

Jenna Fischer was particularly strong in this episode, so I gotta give her props.  And it’s great to see that she took time out of her grueling schedule of promoting her airbrushed magazine covers.


Way more important than Afghanistan.

But before we get to the physical violence, the lunch date scene was a classic uncomfortable Michael Scott moment in which he makes the right decision (break up with her) for the wrong reasons (she reminds him of his unfulfilled life and imminent death) at the absolute worst time (on her birthday in front of Jim and Pam).

Michael: “I am not robbing the cradle. If anything, I’m robbing the grave.”

The dumping of Pam’s mom was uncomfortable, but not quite cringe-worthy for me as I don’t have anything invested in her character and don’t want a love interest for Michael other than Holly, even though Holly has the problem of not bringing any conflict. They’re TOO well suited for each other, but unlike Pam and Jim, they are a very entertaining team to watch.  So, writers, I ask you to please bring back Amy Ryan, even if only for a couple episodes, so that we may get more inspired bits like…”Slumdunder Mifflinaire!”

Slumdunder Mifflinaire!

Happier times (kinda).

With the brutal breakup, we are reminded that Michael can be a really shallow jerk (reminiscent of an older episode where he went on a blind date and told the woman about Jan and her breast implants) but I don’t believe he’s malicious; it comes from a place of complete ignorance of himself and social norms; that he could go that long without knowing the age of the woman he’s sleeping with, and then once he finds out decide to immediately dump her, is not an act of malice, but an act of cluelessness. And that’s why we love him.

But the Oldenburgs weren’t the only couple bucking horns.  One of my favorite moments was Jim busting Pam on her fake emergency:

Exit strategy failed.

"Hello? Well, that's great!"

Lots of little moments struck gold:

  • Kelly complimenting Pam’s mom on her necklace and then shaking her head “no” to the camera.
  • Ryan’s photography project of office nudes, with Kelly as the first model.
  • Creed being relieved that the emergency paper shipment was not real, because it was never supposed to get there.
  • Jim can’t call off the fight because Pam “looks crazy” but he can work on a solution if Michael can give him a week, maybe two.
  • Andy is unable to let a favor go unreturned, leading to a war of pleasantries between him and Dwight.

It all leads to high noon at closing time.

Michael: “Am I scared of getting hit in the face? No. Every day, dominatrixes get paid by weirdos for just that privilege. I’m scared I’m gonna love it.”

Out in the parking lot (which is apparently far enough so as to be off company grounds?), the gang waits in eager anticipation of the big hit.  Kelly’s even enjoying a pre-game snack…

Michael: “Are you eating popcorn?”

Kelly: “It has almost no calories.”

Michael apologizes to Pam and she stands down, until he mentions that her mom was the one that came on to him first.  So it’s open season…


When saying you're sorry isn't good enough.

Phyllis: “Holy crap.”

Pam: “You okay?”

Michael: “Nooo!”

Pam: “Yer okay.”

Jim: “Feel better?”

Pam: “No. You were right.”

We end on Michael’s interview in which he describes how Pam’s slap gave him an instant vision of his future life, which includes four kids, a hover car, a hover house, wealth, happiness and eternal life.

“It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s enough for me.”

-Dan Calvisi
Dan’s Scriptomatic Cinematic Telematic 3D!

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Related: See Mindy Kaling’s webisode music video “Male Primadonna” here.


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The Office: Subtle Sexuality “Male Primadonna” the Music Video

You may have seen the commercial for this webisode during the episode “Double Date.” Mindy Kaling directs this music video parody — it’s meant to be taken seriously by the characters in the show…

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The Office 607: “The Lover” Frank and Beans!

Another great episode for the second week in a row, slowly making up for the wedding aisle dance-or-rama spectacular.

Okay, I’ll stop busting on the wedding aisle dance. The awful one.

Jim and Pam return from their honeymoon and are greeted by none other than Blind Guy McSqueezy

B.G. McSqueezy, post-falling into vat of acid face first.

B.G. McSqueezy, post-falling into a pool of acid eyes first.

…Michael’s new character that the women in his improv class absolutely hate, but yet he’s still so proud of it.

From there, we launch a nice subplot, wherein Dwight plants a listening device in a mallard on Jim’s desk.


And this takes us to the major crisis of the episode, which begins when Michael tells Jim that he’s taken a lover and it’s Pam’s mom.

I love how Jim confirms the affair:

Jim: “You did not have sex with Pam’s mom.”

Michael: “Big time.”

Jim: “What kind of car does she drive?”

Michael: “A green Camry.”

Jim: “F*%K!”

So Jim explodes with a serious warning not to tell Pam and to cease and desist the dating of her Mom. He obviously knows Pam well enough to know she will not take this well.

Jim: “For both of our sakes, never, ever ever see her again!”

Then take another way home, man!

"Then take another way home, man!"

And of course Michael can’t help but tell Pam.

Pam GOES NUTS (which was extreme, but I rolled with it) even trying to lead an office revolt in a conference room meeting about volunteerism and conservation (which is courtesy of an NBC initiative which inserted these themes into the actual scripts of each show on tonight’s lineup).

This scene is a classic Office cattle call, with so many little moments to savor.

  • Look at how happy Stanley is, here, as the only one who’s joining Pam in her chant…
"No more meetings!"

"No more meetings!"

  • Meredith: “Paint a mural of Chicano leaders?”
  • Michael calls Pam’s mom on the phone “boo” and “pickle.”
  • Michael to Pam: “I am your boss, and I may someday be your father!”

Michael’s plea for acceptance pretty much falls on deaf ears, save Phyllis, who seriously crunches on him.

Michael: “I’m caring. I’m generous. I’m sensual. Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness?”

What is so wrong with him?

Why can't I be loved?

He’s right, of course, and what makes this situation so interesting is that Pam was the first person to support him with his personal trials. She saw him as a fragile human being when others dismissed him; she was his rock during the storms of Jan and Holly and she returned to Dunder Mifflin as his one of his conquering generals from the Michael Scott Paper Company. It will be interesting to see if this will continue a disintegration of the Pam-Michael alliance, and will this be treated seriously along with the humor?

We can’t forget Toby, who gets his first loving embrace from Michael…

"Once he got to know me..."

"Once he got to know me..."

…and a few minutes later it’s back to being called a jackass. Poor Toby. But he deserves every scrap of garbage heaped on his head. Because it’s funny.

Toby’s attempts to broker a peace accord go down in flames, and when Pam throws down the gauntlet, Michael fires back: “I’m going to start dating her harder.” She knows what that means.

He also reveals that Jim knew about the affair, which leads to some classic Jim caught-in-the-headlights flustering…

He didn't have all the"frank and beannn..."

"Barely. Didn't have all the facts. ~frank and beann...~"

…which I find to be hilarious. I’ve seen a number of internet posters complaining that Jim is such a wimp, that he needs to lay down the law with Pam when it comes to the office. But these moments are a nice counterpoint to the cutesy-mush- poop that they normally inflict upon us. We need some conflict up in that marshmallow center. (Also, I’m married and I realize more every day the power of a smartly-placed “Yes, dear.” It is a quiet power, a humble power, an ego-less power. Amongst other things.)

But Jim gets his manly moment when he takes out Dwight in a nice scene with a clueless Andy and an aria.

The mallard defense.

The mallard defense.

But Michael’s okay, he’s got plenty of female friends, right? They include…

  • His mom.
  • Pam’s mom.
  • His aunt, although she just blocked him out of IM, and…
  • What’s-her-face from Quiznos that he sees four times a week.

We’re left wondering, will we see more of Ryan’s fedora?


Sinatra and Dino, over here.

We end on, I will admit, a nice scene where Jim reminds Pam of their honeymoon highlights to calm her down, and a failed attempt to suggest that she may be over-reacting.


"Do you think I'm over-reacting." "Yeah, maybe." "But I don't think I am." "You're not."

And just so we don’t have to fade out completely on a patented Pam-Jim cutesy-poo, we get a nice Norman Bates-style denial of insanity from Dwight, straight into camera…


Not stupid enough to put his primary listening device in a wooden mallard.

Solid episode, guys.

your “tuna boss,”

Dan Calvisi
Dan’s Scriptomatic Cinematic Telematic 3D!

p.s. there’s some deleted scenes on, immediately after the full episode replay, worth checking out.

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The Office 605: “Mafia” in which Michael Scott orders gabagool…

"I'll have the gabagool."

"I will have the gabagool."

Nice rebound from last week’s wedding aisle dance spectacular with an episode that revolved around an absurd situation that had just enough credibility to hook us and the dolt triumvirate, aka Michael-Dwight-Andy aka the best thing about the show at this point. I’m thankful the writers didn’t worry about advancing story arcs and just focused on developing a hilarious setup.

And thank the soon-to-be-ousted Zucker that Jim and Pam were relegated to mere voices on the phone (they were honeymooning in Puerto Rico).

Is it a surprise to anyone that the show worked just fine without Mr. and Mrs. Happy Happy Jimjams?

But for me, the “gabagool” moment (the Tony Soprano pronunciation of capicolla, the deli meat) was an instant Office perennial. (And let me make clear that I come from an Italian family but never heard capicolla pronounced that way. Granted, the only time it ever came up at all was during an order at Togo’s sandwich shop, but still, park your stereotypes at the door, peoples.)

If the entire episode had taken place at the lunch table and revolved around Michael ordering the “gabagool” I would have been happy. This was nicely escalated by Michael’s goodfellas…

Andy (wiseguy accent): “You know, the gabagoo?”

Dwight (yelling): “Bring him the gabagool!”

Then Michael puts the topper on it: “I’ll have the spaghetti. With a side salad.  If the salad is on top, I send it back.”

Andy is summoned outside to fix a woman’s car (because he’s wearing a mechanic’s outfit so he can bring a tire iron into the restaurant as a weapon in case it gets ugly, why else?) and he explodes her engine, telling her “that’s totaled, you’re gonna want to get a refund.”  Great moment.

Kevin’s disastrous stint in Jim’s office was a nice b story, although too much of Kevin talking in that voice (i.e., Kevin talking) can get tedious. But it kept Jim and Pam on that phone; again, only a good thing.

And they nicely reined in Dwight. He was silly and hardcore in the signature Schrute way without going bat-poopy insane on us.  Case in point: his reaction to Andy saying that Michael will wake up with a horse’s head in his bed.  Dwight reacted instantly with a quick rebuttal and an exasperated, knowing look that can only come from a beet farmer who pioneered a more efficient method to make hamburgers out of horses.  We thankfully didn’t get the cut to an interview where he talks about how your average American has no concept of how to decapitate a horse.  No need, the short line and the look got the job done. Kudos on the restraint, creative team.

Another element that I loved was the repetition of the word “mafia.”  Who says mafia any more?  And they just kept repeating it, especially Andy…

"You made the mafia apologize to you.  You made the mafia be POLITE."

"You made the mafia apologize to you. You made the mafia be POLITE."

Of course, once Michael finds out that they tricked him into thinking the salesman was not in the mob, while he most definitely was, he’s initially scared…but then he realizes he was just a complete bad-ass so he tells his war story to the entire office, adding that he told the guy “If any of your friends come around here, they’re dead.  I said something like that.”  Prompting Oscar to comment “Let’s be clear he backed down an insurance salesman from Mutual of Harrisburg.”

But Michael will not be put in a corner.  So he makes it clear who wears the pants with his coffee order to Erin…

"If it's not Stop'n'Shop, I send it back."

"If it's not Stop'n'Shop, I send it back."

Solid episode.  And props to actor Mike Starr, a go-to tough guy actor who never overdoes the “New York Italian Guy” bit like too many of his peers and will always be remembered as Frenchy in Goodfellas (“I’m the night watchman, I’m the Commandant.”) and as Eddie the Sinatra-wannabe in Spike Lee’s Summer of Sam.

"Garlic bread. Toasted, not burnt."

"Garlic bread. Toasted, not burnt."

When I first met my wife, she turned me on to the darkly comedic elements of Summer of Sam and we watched  it more than once on her crappy vcr and tiny TV.  And now, we’ve graduated to an outdated dvd player and bigger, but still analog and crappy, TV.  But at least we’re not getting shaken down by Grotti, who definitely changed his name from Gotti.

See ya’s next week, fuggedaboutit.

-Danny C.
(button man in Grotti crew)

photo credits:

p.s. For anyone who wants more of Erin the receptionist (played by Ellie Kemper), here’s a decent deleted scene featuring her on…

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